As a leadership coach, my job is to be your thought partner. To do this I listen deeply - tuning into themes and patterns, the words beneath your words, and the words not spoken. As well as the places and times that you pause or say nothing. I ask questions that I hope will support you inquire more fully into yourself - the roots of your patterns, the different parts of you, the why behind your actions, the core of what motivates you, and the energy behind your feelings.

In a coaching conversation I aim to speak far less that my client. And in between one of us speaking, there's silence - room to pause, reflect, and process. And hopefully jot down a few notes.

In all of this, my clients don't really get to know me - not in the way they might know a friend or a colleague. What I hope they do get is a felt sense of me, one that allows them to confide in me like a trusted friend, and that allows them to do their best and most honest thinking and feeling in our time together.

A recent conversation with a past client reminded me of the one-sided nature of this work. Clients will, understandably, make assumptions about me - sometimes imagining that that I have everything figured out... that I don't wrestle with the same questions they do. But the truth is, I do.

A mentor once told me that as a coach or a therapist, I am either two steps ahead, two steps behind, or right there alongside my clients. We are all navigating what it means to be human. I hold space for others because I deeply believe in the need and the value of having such a space for myself. I need it too.

And so, while my role isn't to share my own struggles with my clients, know this - if you've ever struggled, doubted yourself, felt alone, or questioned your relevance - I have too.

So many of us are exhausted. And that exhaustion isn't just physical - it's mental, emotional, and even existential. We move from one demand to the next, filling our days with meetings, all forms of written communications, and obligations, convinced that busyness equals productivity, that responsiveness equals effectiveness. And I believe that in the process, we are distracted from what truly matters.

The best leadership - whether it's in our work, our families, our communities - doesn't come from a place of depletion. It comes from clarity, presence, and vitality. And yet, so often my clients tell me how they rarely protect the time and space required to cultivate these things. I listen to people overriding their instincts, ignoring the signals that their emotions are sending them, and pushing through at all costs. The result? People struggle to think deeply, creatively, or strategically; to advocate meaningfully for themselves and
others; or to influence effectively.

I recognize that not everyone has the same choices or flexibility. I believe that it is about making the most of what we can access and control. It's about recognizing that if we never pause to restore, we won't have the capacity to show up for the things and people that need us most - including ourselves.

Taking space doesn't have to mean long hikes (though I swear by them) or hour-long meditations. It means intentionally creating room to refuel, however that looks for you. Because the more we protect our energy, the more we can lead with intentionality.

I hope this invites you to pause and ask yourself - What would it take for me to stop running on empty? Where do I find the space to restore? And am I giving myself enough of that?

I've had so many conversations where people assume leadership coaching is about climbing the corporate ladder - securing the next title or the next promotion. And I get it. That's often how leadership is framed, which is unfortunate.

That's not what draws me to this work.

For me, leadership isn't about reaching the 'top'. It's about presence - how we show up, the impact we have, and the responsibility that comes with it. Leadership is bigger than individual success. It's about shaping something beyond ourselves - our kids, our teams, our organizations, and even the broader systems we're part of. As one of my wise clients shared - leadership ins't an individual pursuit, it can be shared.

And what a time to be speaking about the responsibility of leadership. We are watching leaders around the world make decisions that harm - decisions that contribute to an even more fractured and disparate world.

I want to work with people who are interested in something different. Leaders who aren't just thinking about their own careers but about the ripple effects of their leadership. Who ask: How do my choices affect the people around me? What kind of culture am I creating? How does my leadership extend beyond my family, my team, my organization, and my country?

Titles and promotions can be meaningful, but they aren't what make someone a leader. Leadership is about integrity and the awareness that our actions reach further than we often realize.

When I work with people, I prefer to focus on the kind of leader they want to be and the impact they want to have. Because that's what lasts.

Living in South Africa for 19 years shaped how I understand leadership - not just as a position, but as a deeply personal journey shaped by history, identity, and the quiet burdens we carry.

Many of the leaders I work with - across industries, continents, and cultures - have spent years proving themselves in environments that weren't always safe or inclusive. They have worked relentlessly to earn their place at the table, often carrying not just their own ambitions, but the weight of generations before them - those who had fewer choices, fewer chances, and whose struggles paved the way. And often also carrying the responsibility of the hope of generations ahead of them.

And yet, there comes a moment in a leader's journey when survival is no longer the goal. When proving yourself is no longer necessary. When the question shifts from 'How do I fit in?' to 'Who am I ready to become?' I'm always excited when I meet a leader who is at this place in their career and life.

My intention in my work is to support leaders as they step beyond the limitations they've long shouldered and into the leader - the person- they can finally openly celebrate. The kind of leader whose presence, impact, and legacy reflect their true values, not just their achievements. Not by abandoning where they come from, but by integrating it. Not by proving their worth, but by trusting it and letting it free.

If you recognize this in yourself and are wondering what leadership looks like when you no longer have to fight for your place, I'd love to talk.

Becoming a parent 19 years ago changed the way I think about leadership. It has deepened my understanding of patience, trust, and grace under pressure. It has taught me the power of being present, of truly listening, and of knowing when to step back and when to step in. It reinforced what I already knew to be true but didn't yet have the courage to voice - that it's not about control, having all the answers, or proving yourself. It's about how we choose to show up; the spaces we create for others; and the example we set through our presence, choices, and integrity.

As a professional coach, I am working with leaders who are navigating complexity and uncertainty. Many feel the weight of responsibility, not just for their work, but for the people who rely on them.

Leadership, like parenting, is deeply relational. It requires us to lead with clarity while embracing uncertainty. To hold high expectations while allowing space for growth. To support others without losing ourselves in the process.

I don't offer formulas or quick fixes. I offer a space for leaders to reflect on who they are - not just what they do - so they can lead with confidence, humanity, and purpose.

Because at the end of the day, leadership isn't just about results. It's about the legacy we leave in the lives of those we influence.

If you're reflecting on how you want to lead, I'd love to connect.