What Does it Mean to Matter Now?

There are times in our lives when the ground begins to quietly (or loudly) shift beneath us. The world around us changes - fast, unpredictably, and often painfully. And at the same time, something inside of us shifts too. Not in a dramatic or obvious way, but in a quiet and persistent way that is hard to ignore.

In these times we might begin to ask deeper questions - not always clearly and not always in words. But these questions rise up. For me, lately, these questions are about relevance, contribution, connection and community. Questions about truth, equity, love, and what hope looks like now.

These aren't questions that arrive with tidy answers (unfortunately). They feel more like invitations that ask me to pay attention - to notice what's ending, what's emerging, and what within us is being asked to stretch, soften, or wake up.

I feel this in myself right now and I sense that I am not alone. The world feels unsteady. AI is disrupting my field in ways I can't yet fully grasp. The climate crisis, migration, and wars around the world remind me how fragile life is and how interdependent we all are. My daugthers are stepping into their own lives, and my role as a mother is changing. I feel changes in my energy, in how I work, and in what sustains me.

Oftentimes I catch myself wondering - Do I still matter in the ways I once did? What does it mean to matter now? Not to achieve and not to prove, but to belong, contribute, and lead with heart.

There are days when I feel small and tired, caught in a story about my own irrelevance. I wish I was wise enough to push that away but I often can't. Fortunately I know I don't want to stay there. More than anything I want to keep listening to what is shifting, to what is asking for care, to what is being overlooked, and to what is most essential.

What I know is ahead in my own development is a real knowing and trust that we are not separate. My/our relevance is not a fixed identity to hold tightly to, its a dynamic relationship with the times we're living in and the people we're living amongst.

We're not meant to have this all figured out but I do think we are meant to walk it together.