I began my career as a professional leadership coach in South Africa in 2003. At the time, I could not have named how profoundly that experience would shape me, not only in how I coach, but in how I see leadership, change, difference, and what it means to work with others. It was only with time, experience and reflection, that I understood: South Africa did not simply influence my work, it fundamentally altered my way of being.
South Africa is a country where history is not abstract. It lives close to the surface – in conversations, in silences, in who speaks easily and who does not. Coaching there required far more than skill or methodology. It required presence, curiosity, and humility. And it asked me to coach with depth in spaces of complexity rather than rush toward resolution.
What that revealed to me is something I now see across leadership everywhere: change is not neat or linear, and transition often carries grief alongside hope. Transformation cannot be imposed; it must be invited. And deep listening means listening not only for what is said, but for what is not safe to say.
Living far from my home country of Canada sharpened my gratitude for it, while also changing how I see it. Returning home, I became more aware of Canada’s own imperfect history, and of the ways Canadians continue to grapple, usually awkwardly, sometimes courageously, with difference, inclusion, and reconciliation. Distance allowed me to hold both gratitude and critical awareness at the same time.
What I carry with me is not a definitive way of understanding culture or difference. It is a way of being, a presence I bring to leadership and people, grounded more in curiosity than certainty. It appears as a deep respect for difference and an equally deep respect for the common humanity that runs beneath.
Over the past 23 years, these experiences shaped my work with leaders across cultures, countries, and contexts. Leaders have different norms, different histories, and different ways of expressing authority, care, ambition, and responsibility. And yet, beneath those differences, the work of leadership remains consistent: learning to listen more deeply, to hold tension with courage, to widen perspective, and to honour both difference and belonging.
Much of what leaders bring into their roles has been shaped long before they are aware of it. Our histories, contexts, and lived experiences quietly influence how we relate to authority, difference, ambition, and responsibility – often in ways that only become visible when we pause to reflect.
These reflections are inquiries into what shapes leadership. In the reflections to follow, I will reflect on leadership across Western and African contexts, on the assumptions we carry, about what ‘good leadership’ looks like, and on what becomes possible when we allow our definitions to be expanded.
Photo taken by Abby Malan in Cape Town, South Africa - artist unknown